Project Runway is my secret obsession. I love it. I get so happy when a new episode comes on and I clap my hands when I see someone like Tim Gunn or Chris March. I drink wine and eat white chocolate which is fun because I am always on a diet. I used to have peeps in Nashville and we would watch the show and talk about it and bitch about it, etc. Since the move I realize that I know nobody and do not know anybody that has viewing parties, etc. Not even the gay clubs. It is really sad.

Anyways for Season 5, I am starting to really like some people which I thought would be impossible. I thought they were all very shallow and lazy. My favorite person is Jerell. I like his style and his personal style is unbelievable and I wish he would just send those fashions down the runway. He has l’air of a 70’s African dictator on bedazzled steroids and I love it. I like Leanne’s fashions but do not like her so much. She’s kind of boring and talks like she needs Valium. Terri is a bad ass and I mean this in the best, she designs for blaxplotation movies. I can see Pam Grier rocking this stuff. Terri is a bad ass. The people I really don’t like which is a surprise are the following: Kenley and I don’t really know why. She and I dress the same and she is cute and makes structured pieces, I just gasp at her color selections and print selections. They are so nasty and tasteless. It was a great thing that Keith didn’t use that fabric she chose for Brooke Shields dress because they would of lost. Daniel whines all the time and I thought I’d like him but his fashions are dry and he pops his collar making him a douche. Suede’s personality rubs me wrong but his designs are okay. I used to really dislike Blayne but he makes me laugh and I do get sick of his playing stupid routines. Stella makes me laugh to because she is so serious and I love that she hammers everything. I want to rip that little stub of hair out of the Keith’s neck. Joe is a normal guy and I like that.

Anyways, I am mad that Kelli got sent home, should of been Daniel. I’m sure Kelli will do well. I’ll go to her shop when I’m back in Ohio. The Brooke Shields challenge was alright, we got to see how people work together. Jerell and Stella work so well together. And Brooke Shields needs to age damnit.

I’m so stoked about next weeks featuring the apple of my eye: Chris March. And lots and lots of drag queens! My fantasy in life is to design for drag: queen or king. Lots of drama and zest. There will be so much attitude in the room. Can’t wait to see.

Anyways, I know this is a rant that makes no sense but I have to get it out to someone. For some reason I think my views on Project Runway matter. But, don’t worry, I’ll go back to talking about cosmetics.

The team that should of won.

The team that should of won.

I know that it just started but where is the talent? I feel that this is the laziest, safest, and most talentless group that Bravo has ever had to offer. Of course it has only been one episode but it should of been a fun one using grocery store goods. Instead it ending up being boring and agonizing to watch. I felt like 10 people should of been auf’d so that I wouldn’t have to see anymore of their butt ugly designs. Why the bitterness? I don’t know. I love this show. It is my guilty pleasure. I watch it and worship it and yes that embarrasses me but I don’t care. I love Tim Gunn, I wish he would narrate for my GPS. He is the most constructive and classiest human on the planet.

Anyways, I got sucked into the Bravo blackhole last night. Even as a mega fan, I forgot that the new season was beginning last night. I was flipping through the channels getting ready to watch some Netflix when I saw the sweet bear, Chris March of season 4. I love him. I wish that he would of won. Not because of his designs on the show which were either hit or miss, but because he is so nice. He is real person and not a bitch. He is an amazingly kitschy creative individual that should of won. But I keep forgetting that if you are the creative one then you won’t win. People want to see something that Macy’s or bluefly.com can sell. So why did Rami not win? I have no clue. His clothes were very female body friendly. Christian won because he is a little bitch with an ugly haircut. Sorry, I really did not like him. He came across as such an insecure small town hairdresser that had to fight ugly to cover up his new boy in town complex. He was not fierce.I’m happy that Chris and Rami are getting alot of work after the show.

Anyways, back to Season 5, I believe I do not like anybody. Blayne is a mega creep. First, I hate neon clothes and “urban” design. Hello Blayne, you’re from Yakima what and the hell do you know about hip-hop or urban design? I thought I could support anyone from Washington but I can’t. I really hate Blayne, I have a biological urge to pull his hair. I can’t explain it. What did he keep saying, “Babealiscious” or something. Eww. I find Suede obnoxious, that is if that is even his real name… I don’t think that Stella knows how to sew using a machine.  She should just go home and continue making clothes for Blondie, that’s more than any of us will do in a lifetime anyways. Jennifer is very boring. Emily dresses like a clown and looks like that one chick from Mad TV. Leanne is to insecure and gets on my last nerves. She is all sad because she is from Portland, OR and is trying to be NYC and feels sad. Well, as a lover of the Pacific Northwest, New York ain’t got nothin’ on us. We’re badass because we don’t give a shit. You’re still young Leanne, one day you’ll understand. Jerell seems like he is going to create some major drama later on. Jerry should be out with that creepy thrasher outfit. It wasn’t even sexy. It was dumpy serial killer. The other contestants compared it to American Physco but at least Mr. American Physco knew haute couture. Keith is too stuck up and thinks that he has a talent which I know I haven’t seen yet. Wesley is a dork and hopes that his dorky Marc Jacobs style will get him somewhere. I don’t hate them all yet. Daniel seems like the only one with real talent. I look forward to seeing his creations. Joe seems like the nice guy that won’t start shit. I mean he has daughters, how cute is that? Kelli is adorable and seems to have some sense. I don’t know anything about Kenley. Did you notice that they totally avoided her this first episode? I don’t think we saw any of her portfolio. All I know is that she is cute and we have the same hair. Korto is a very styl’n woman but I doubt she’ll make it through. I see alot of shapeless caftans and tunics in the future. Not that I wouldn’t wear them, I just know what Michael Kors will say. And then finally there’s Terri. She’s my true neutral. I could like her or hate her, I don’t know yet.

Sadly, I will keep watching religiously with a class of wine every Wed. night. I love to hate the show and I love to love the show. I just want Tim Gunn and Chris March to be best friends and for Rami to design my clothes. Oh and Santino designs Camel cigarette boxes. I don’t smoke but I still bought it because of him. I loved that childish insecure, talented nut case.