February 2009



As you know by now, lip plumpers aren’t working unless they are burning the daylights out of your lips. I feel they are so popular, well other than the fantastic claim, but I feel they are popular because women love to feel pain for cosmetic reasons. We like the reminder that something is uncomfortable because it reminds us of how “sexy” we are. That is why we continue to wear 6 inch wood heeled pumps, thongs, and strapless bras. It (the pain) will be on our minds more reminding us that we are damn sexy. Anyways, lip plumpers are one of those things. I have big lips and I still fall for and buy lip plumper. Other than being stupid, I just like the pain. It is simple as that. I feel like, “geez, this is really working”. The Borghese Lip Plumper is OK. It is clear and not too shiny. It burns. For some reason it burns more than Duwop or Too Faced on me. So, in my mind it is really working. So it contains all of those irritating ingredients. That isn’t too special. The price is expensive at $31.50 a tube. It can be picked up on beauty.com. It does plump up the lips and makes them have a bit more “color”. It plumps out the lines on the lips and makes them look so smooth. Other products can be layered over this. It isn’t sooo glossy. I feel like my lips keep the “plump” for hours, so there is no need to keep torturing yourself.

Juliette Has A Gun Citizen Queen is everything at once and still not very exciting. It is made to feel very retro and 50’s and have a high concentration of fragrance, 20%, I think. It is a strong and long wearing fragrance. It wears all day. Seriously like 24 hours.¬† It does smell “old-fashioned” but more of an old fashioned interpretation of what modern perfumery has to offer.The bottom line with this fragrance is that it is trying way too hard. Think airbrushed park bench portrait of a real estate agent during this housing crisis. It is just trying too hard to be classy and expensive and “convincing”. When I wear this I feel like I am trying to be somebody I am not. I do consider myself to be a very glamorous person but this just smells like it is trying sooo hard. It smells like a mix of a wonderful luxury house, like Chanel, but not one of their breathtaking classics. This is more of one of their modern interpretations, think Allure, Coco Mademoiselle, or that God awful Allure Sensuelle. It is a take of a classic. At times this fragrance comes across as a bit drugstore-ish and Vanilla Fields like. This fragrance claims to have 160 notes that are “rare”, etc. They are using the same ad campaign that a perfume house would of used on bored 50’s housewives. I’m supposed to believe this is expensive (which it is) because it is exotic and complex and world rocking. It is supposed to be an “extreme” composition. It is a bit chypre and oriental and floral. It is everything and sometimes everything just comes out as generic. Throwing everything together doesn’t make you glamorous, it can make you very tacky. This is the bleached blonde with dark roots, rouged to hell and back, matching lips and fingertips, cleavage falling out but not in a Marilyn Monroe way more in a middle aged Cache clothing store way. This is a bad thing, this is a bad thing if you are not this lady. Yes, this lady is an Amazon in her own right but it just isn’t me. So when I smell this on me I’m always scared it’s my mother standing behind me waiting to bitch to me about something. This fragrance is trying so hard to be sexy but since it resembles a newer Chanel like an Allure it just smells like all of my friend’s mothers and my own mother.

This fragrance at first is very iris and amber with a little bit of rose. But, not an incense amber, more of a vanilla amber. The iris helps green it up a bit but it fades rather quickly on me and leave me with a rich and sweeter than I want it to be fragrance. It is heavy, I guess this is supposed to translate into seductive but I find that most men will find this a bit too heavy and abrasive. I’m sure there are gentlemen out there that like this, but do you really want to attract them anyways? ūüôā I can not find the leather notes. Or at least it doesn’t wear very heavily on my skin. I was hoping that this would be leathery too, oh well. This fragrance is described as “chypre” and “animalic”, that is a stretch. Pretty much the opening notes are the most interesting and then it slowly dries down to a sweet, resiny, ambery base with a little bit of floral. It is really annoying because I keep waiting for something interesting to happen and it never does. I expect for it to be interesting at it’s $105 and $135 price tag.

Anyways, it isn’t a disgusting fragrance. It is just not what I expected. It is playing off of a cute name and an OK bottle. It is selling to the gals that long for retro glamor and dream of being a pin-up or burlesque dancer. But, a gal that longs for retro glamor knows how to reach for a classic Dior, Chanel, or Caron. We don’t need this new crap that really comes across as a “poser”. This fragrance would be nice for those that like Chanel Coco Mademoiselle, Allure, and Allure Sensuelle if they wanted something new. This is also good for those that like Donna Karan Cashmere Mist and they want something sweeter or the old Liz Claiborne Realities if they want a more expensive and a more niche replacement. I just know when a fragrance isn’t me and this one is it. It isn’t me at all. I hate to say this is something that my mom would wear because I wear a lot of old fragrances for someone my age that my mother would never think of touching. But, this is something my mom would wear. I really think the company should of marketed this to over the top ladies in their 40’s because they have the money to buy this anyways.

The scent retails for $105 for the 1.7 oz. and $138 for the 3.4 oz. It is available at beautyhabit.com and b-glowing.com.

Demeter Kahala Blue Hawaiian Cologne is the epitome of a fruity, resort style cocktail. It is super tropical and sweet. It smells just like sweetened pineapple juice. You know, the kind from the can. It’s bitter and sweet and has that metallic tang, fresh from the can. It smells lush and a bit “fuzzy”. It is so sweet and syrupy that it even smells a bit sticky. It smells like the real deal, in fact better. I’ve always been intrigued by a Blue Hawaiian but I refuse to drink blue things. It just ain’t natural. This is a perfect little vacation destination in a bottle. It’s not something I usually reach for but it is nice to smell if you want to escape from the middle of winter or your boring job. It wears OK, for about up to hour. That isn’t too bad for a Demeter cologne.

This cologne is part of the Kahala Collection which is inspired by the prints of the Hawaiian shirt company. It is tropical and it is fun, just like a Hawaiian shirt. This fragrance is now available in the mini splashes!

Just take a sec to pretend you are here.


Weekly Cheap Secret: This isn’t the best lavender soap on the market but it isn’t too bad considering the price. It retails for under $4 for four bars of normal sized soap. I love lavender because it smells like summer. Since home air conditioning does not exist in the Pacific Northwest, windows and doors are frequently open for that ocean breeze in the summer. And since lavender seems to be pretty happy here everybody seems to grow it. And the nice thing about people is that I think they may actually plan things sometimes. For instance, we moved into a home with a gigantic English lavender bush directly in front of the door, so when the wind blows so does that amazing and relaxing fragrance. The neighbors are nice enough to share their breeze and their lovely lavender aroma also. Anyways, it is very nice in the summer to have that calming fragrance, especially when you feel hot and irritable because your craftsman lacks air conditioning. The lavender just seems to keep you sane on those hot days. Then, winter happens and you never see the sun again so you begin to miss anything dealing with summer at all. You forget about the pit stains on your shirt, the dryness and dust, and the fact that everyone in Seattle smells of B.O. In the winter you forget all the negative things of summer and just remember all the pretty things. I was feeling a bit summer sick and ordered these Yardley soaps from drugstore.com. The entire boxed that was shipped smelled very lavender. It isn’t a sweet and gross Bath and Body Works lavender vanilla mix. It is straight up medicinal smelling lavender. This isn’t your kinder and gentler English lavender oil, this is more that medicinal Italian lavender oil. That isn’t a bad thing, especially in winter when you kind of forgotten what anything alive smells like. Plus, it helps open up your airways. I find lavender so amazing because it really does make you feel happier and calmer.

The soap bars themselves are fragrant but the fragrance fades with time. So your first bar may smell strong but your last bar won’t cause the bathroom to smell so great. I think a new bar would make a nice addition to the underwear drawer as a sachet or the linen closet to freshen things up a bit. The bar is average size, not to small and not so large that it is like holding a slippery football in the shower. They lather OK and so far it hasn’t bothered my skin. It doesn’t feel very moisturizing but I’m not shedding like a Bearded Dragon either. It is just an average bar of soap with a medicinal lavender type smell for under $4. I don’t know if I will repurchase but I really don’ t have a reason not to. It is a nice pick me up in the winter and I hope to be smelling the real thing once again.

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