June 2008

Well, it’s that time of year again. (For the rest of the country it has been that time of the year again). It’s the time of the year when all of the cosmetic companies offer a new summer fragrance that is supposed to coat our tan beach bodies or at least trick us into thinking we are having a vacation. It’s a time when many companies can water down a best-selling juice hoping that the fragrance fans will purchase it. Netherless, it’s a time that I love. These are my ten recommendations for this year so far (and ok not all of them are special edition):

1. Estee Lauder Bronze Goddess : This was my first purchase of the season and it sold out fast. I bought it the day it hit the streets and by the time I decided I wanted the body lotion, I couldn’t find it anywhere. Not even online. The company describes it as “A sensuous, sun-drenched blend of Bergamot and Mandarin, cooled with Tahitian Gardenia Petals and Coconut, warmed with Amber, Sandalwood and Vetiver.” Of course, there is a ton of other notes listed, but in the long run it just smells “beachy”. It seriously smells like salt water and sand drying on a warm monoi oil body. I bought the body oil and it is to die for. This line is very similar to last year’s Tom Ford inspired, Azuree Soleil.

2. Guerlain Aqua Allegoria Figue-Iris: I’ve already posted a review of this fragrance. I bought it the day it came out, unsniffed, which is typically a stupid thing to do. It wasn’t a stupid thing to do this time. I love this floraly fig fragrance. Some of the notes listed on Sephora’s site include fig, vanilla, iris, vetiver, bergamot and pink grapefruit. It is still available and is $50 for 2.5 ounces.

3. Prescriptives Calyx Shimmering Fragrance Mist: OK, so this is available all year long but it is so refreshing for the summer. The website describes this classic citrus floral as ” The top note is a profusion of grapefruit and mandarin with a tropical blend of passion fruit, mango, papaya and guava. The refreshing middle note is a bouquet of freesia, muguet, neroli, rose, lily, jasmin and marigold. The deep sensual base note is a luscious weaving of oakmoss, orris, sandalwood and vetiver.” Plus, the shimmer is lots of fun. It is $45 for 1.7 ounces.

4. Burberry Summer: This is a limited edition, meaning that you can only purchase it during the summer, but so far it keeps coming back evreytime it heats up. I really like the original and I like this summer take on the original. It is a citrusy-floral with enough wood to keep it from getting too cool. It contains citrus, green apple, water lily, freesia, rose, woods, white musk and moss. It costs $47 for 1.7 ounces.

5. Elizabeth Arden Mediterranean Breeze: I remember when the original came out and what a hit it was for Elizabeth Arden. The new one has a beautiful bottle that is very Georgia O’Keiffe. The website describes it as “Sparkling. Warm. Captivating. Sweet, sparkling fruits and delicate florals unique to the Mediterranean combine with sensual woods and addictive musks to create a scent reminiscent of a warm breeze on a summer day.” Personally, I haven’t had this experience to compare this fragrance to, I just know it smells nice. It is $47.50 for 1.7 ounces.

6. Kenzo FlowerbyKenzo Summer: I love this woody summer fragrance. Many summer fragrances want to be aquatic and citrusy. This one does a great job being very true to itself. It contains ylang-ylang, parma violet, ginger, mandarin, litchi sorbet, incense, and musk. It retails for $52 for 1.7 ounces.

7. Avon Tahitian Holiday: This one was just launched and I really like it for the price. It is a great alternative to Bronze Goddess for the money. It is a tropical floral with Tahitian tiare flower, musk and coconut. Currently it is $9.99 for 1.7 ounces but it will be $15. There is a hair refresher, shimmery body lotion and a body oil available too.

8. L’Occitane Green Tea with Mint: This unisex, herbaceous fragrance is available all year but is so refreshing when it is humid. It contains bitter orange, spearmint, cedar, and thyme. It retails for $44 for 3.4 ounces.

9. Demeter Fuzzy Naval: Demeter has tons of fragrances that are great for summer. It just depends on what summer means for you. Personally, I love Fuzzy Naval. It is my summer fruity guilty pleasure (in more than one way). It is orange and peach and smells just like the real thing. The humongous minis cost $5 for .5 ounces. The .5 spray is $12.50 and the full-size 1 ounce spray is $20.

10. Yves Rocher Pur Desir de Fleur d’Oranger, Orange Blossom: This is a nice refreshing citrus that reminds me of those cool Arab drinks. It smells like its namesake. It is usually $19.50 for 2.0 ounces but is on sale all the time. Currently it is $11. It also has a deodorant stick, lotion and shower gel available with this fragrance.

There are many more. But, these are my favs. It’s finally getting warm enough here to think about these things. Yesterday, we were bombarded by 85 degree weather in the house and my lipsticks started to melt and we thought something was wrong with the central air, then we found out there is no central air here. Nobody has it. It was 90 degrees and nobody has air. So we had to go out and buy lots of fans. Everyone was buying lots of fans. It was so weird.knit bikini This is the kind of bikini you have to wear in cold Pacific Northwest ocean water.

I typically like Benefit cosmetics for their kitschy take on things but when I saw b spot perfume for the first time I didn’t laugh. I don’t know why, I guess I felt like the company was being really desperate. It seems that it lost any of the sexiness that it was trying to provide and went all Hustler or even worse Victoria’s Secret on me. It is kind of creepy thinking about those two twins making jokes of  ladies’ g spots and wanting to make a buck or two off of this erogenous zone; however, Cosmo has been doing this for years, issue after issue, so what does it matter?

I am a big fan of Maybe Baby. It got me through a few good years of college and the early years of my marriage. It smells absolutely feminine and is very reasonably priced. It is about time Benefit launched a new liquid. The description of b spot on the website is so lame that you’ll laugh out loud.

“Every gal’s got one (a few, actually)… b spots, that is. Awaken your most seductive pulse points with this new fragrance from Benefit. It’s a sexy combo of lush mango; faster, faster, freesia; provocative peony & steamy sandalwood… and don’t forget to shake, shake, shake your amber, baby!”

Lame it is, but not so terrible, but not so great. It’s a pretty typical fruity-floral, but wait it has aquatic notes! The top note and initial spritz a nose numbing mango accord that manages to smell good but almost ammonia-ish too. It is followed by aquatic and floral notes giving it a nice “it just rained in the flower garden” feel. I didn’t smell a real peony, just a synthetic “girl” peony that conjures up everything pink. This all happens very fast (maybe that is where the faster, faster line comes in). It does dry down to an earthy, powdery sandalwood and amber that will linger on the skin. For some reason my husband really liked this fragrance. Maybe it is because the blotter card resembles those nudey truck flap babes. I didn’t dislike the fragrance, nor did I love it.  I wouldn’t buy it for myself, but if my husband bought it I would wear it. The price isn’t bad either at $38 for 1.7 ounces. It can be purchased at Benefit.

The packaging is a weak stab at burlesque and could of been better. If you’re trying to be raunchy just add some tassles. I do like the packaging better than Maybe Baby’s because it is easier to hold. The box matches the bottle and has chicks kicking up and swinging body parts everywhere. Also, the company includes a “body map” to help you find your b spot in case you’re such a prude you don’t know where to spritz your perfume…

Oh and if anybody wants to know, the website says my b spot is on the back of my neck.


I don’t know if you really listen to much Martin Denny but it is really perfect this time of year when it’s time for a mojito, but if you don’t like his music you’ll love the babe that is on most of the album covers. Today I will tackle the LP Primitiva album cover from 1958, a time of tiki inspired stripclubs. First, I’d tackle those brows and use a pencil, no gel or powder will cut this intense look. I’d recommend L’Oreal Brow Shaping Duet in Black/Brown. I’d apply a matte finish foundation like Maybelline Matte Mousse Foundation, apply this with a flat buffer brush after applying with fingers. I’d top with a light dusting of Cornsilk Shineless Natural Matte Loose Powder, this product really works with the vintage look. My granny always used it. I’d apply a concealer with a matte finish as well, such as Lancome Effacernes Protective Undereye Concealer. By this time your skin is a perfect matte canvas. Move on to eyes and lay it on thick. I’d use Urban Decay Primer Potion and cover the whole eye area with Urban Decay Matte Eyeshadow in Foxy which is a matte ivory. Then, brush NYX eyeshadow in Hawaiian Coffee (what an appropriate name for an Exotica inspired look) in the crease and blend until perfect. Line the upper lashline with NYX Pen Eye Liner in Jet Black in a thick, cat-eyed motion. Apply MAC lashes in 6 Lash and coat with MAC Pro Lash Mascara in Coal Black. Apply a minimal amount of mascara to the bottom lashes for a wide-eyed look. Now, my favorite part is the lipstick. Line lips with NYX Long Lip Pencil in Plush Red. I don’t care what people say about nude lipliners, when you want a bold red lip you must use a bold red lipliner. Apply Chanel Rouge Hydrabase Creme Lipstick in Fire, a vivid warm red shade. My second favorite thing in the whole world: blush. Lightly sweep Nars Powder Blush in Desire, a flushing cotton candy pink, with a fantail brush. It’ll really look natural. Finally, coat those nails in OPI Nail Lacquer in Vodka and Caviar or there new and super cute retro pin-up inspired summer shade, Calender Girl. Then I’d not do doodley squat to my hair and tie my boobs up in some kind of suede rag. By doing this I’m sure somebody will buy you a Mai Tai.

P.S. If anyone knows this lady’s name please share! For years, I’ve wanted to know her back story but I’ve been unsuccessful as far.

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Wow, moving is really hard and doesn’t give me the luxury of keeping up with all the frivolous, superficial things in my life such as fragrance and cosmetics. But, I did take some time out about two weeks ago to investigate this Cool Heat collection. As always MAC sends me an email to announce that they have once more threw together (at the last minute it seems) a color collection of sorts.   While viewing the colors online I thought they were OK but the collection concept by itself is really lame.”Blues are cool, oranges are warm”, isn’t really that creative and most people aren’t going to wear a dark teal eyeshadow with bright coral lipstick. But, seriously does anyone pair any of these things together that come in the collections. Anyways, fast-forward to real life where I have to navigate a crappy mall in a new town and yes, they do have a MAC counter that was actually hopping with people buying boring ass mauve lipstick and black mascara. The colors that I thought looked interesting online were really boring but there were some nice ones. The best eyeshadow in my opinion is Climate Blue. Rich blues may turn a sour greenish shade on me (yes, I’m talking to you Electric Eel), but this shade with its pink pearl and slight violet tinge stayed a true blue on me. Another pretty one was Gulf Stream which is really as the site describes “a frosty mid-tone blue-green with green pearl”. Yes, they try this shade in a collection each summer. Now lets move on to lipsticks. I really loved them. Slimshine is a great formula for summer because it provides a fresh fruit kissed shade to lips. It makes lips look plumpy and nice. My favorite colors are High 90S which is a vivid coraly pink and Swelter, a wearable sheer red made for everyone. The fragrances are not so hot or cool. Turquatic is exactly what you would expect from a cheap aquatic fragrance: a manufactured lotus. The site lists orris as a note but I couldn’t catch it. The new Turquatic Heat is has none of the “sultry Mediterranean allure” that it claims to have. It is exactly like Turquatic but infused with a sickly vanilla and powdery amber and that is just wrong and stays on the skin too long. I didn’t buy anything from the collection because at the time I was stressed about finding a place to live but I do want to go back and pick up some Slimshines.cool heat Now I’m getting a tad homesick. When I went to the MAC counter everything was deadly boring. The people where fretting over two shades of mauve lipstick that were almost identical, buy them both bitch and leave. The girl working wasn’t even sporting fun stuff. I miss my MAC store with the guy working there with shaved eyebrows and they were drawn up on his forehead and as a clone of a young Divine. And all of the other over the top people that worked there. I wear too much makeup to live here.


Well, I’ve been mega busy and really don’t know what I got myself into. I moved  and now have no place to live. OK, that might not be completely true, I am living in a hotel like in My Name Is Earl. I’m waiting to rent, they’re doing checks and stuff but until then I really don’t know what is going on. It is freak’n gorgeous here and it is very European in geography. I can’t compare the people to anyone because they are very Pacific Northwest-ish. They’re not trendsetters or at least not on purpose, they truly do not care. Coffee is very important but nothing, I repeat nothing beats Bongo Java of Nashville, TN. If I was to bring that stuff out here, I’d get everybody hooked. The coffee here is bitter and acidic; however, strong. It’s the kind of coffee that needs to be used with milk and mixed with stuff. The food is OK but is no Portland cuisine out here. Or at least I haven’t found it yet. I can’t wait to go mushroom hunting and I wished I packed some socks. It’s is abnormally cold out here which I think is a thousand times better than the 90 something heat I just left. I love the colors and flowers here and farmer’s markets. So far I’m pretty happy with the move and can’t believe that I did it. I drove through the country which is so totally bare. I can’t believe people in this country complain about overpopulation an immigrants, they have obviously not drove through 2000 miles of complete nothingness. This truly is a beautiful country and I didn’t realize it because I have been in the Southeast my whole life. I’ll post pics later.

Today I have nothing to do so I am going to go buy plaid flannel and hoodies because that is the only thing that makes sense here. Not all of the dresses and silk shirts and jeans that I packed. And can you wear coral lipstick out here?