Season 5 of Project Runway: Where’s the Talent? July 17, 2008

I know that it just started but where is the talent? I feel that this is the laziest, safest, and most talentless group that Bravo has ever had to offer. Of course it has only been one episode but it should of been a fun one using grocery store goods. Instead it ending up being boring and agonizing to watch. I felt like 10 people should of been auf’d so that I wouldn’t have to see anymore of their butt ugly designs. Why the bitterness? I don’t know. I love this show. It is my guilty pleasure. I watch it and worship it and yes that embarrasses me but I don’t care. I love Tim Gunn, I wish he would narrate for my GPS. He is the most constructive and classiest human on the planet.

Anyways, I got sucked into the Bravo blackhole last night. Even as a mega fan, I forgot that the new season was beginning last night. I was flipping through the channels getting ready to watch some Netflix when I saw the sweet bear, Chris March of season 4. I love him. I wish that he would of won. Not because of his designs on the show which were either hit or miss, but because he is so nice. He is real person and not a bitch. He is an amazingly kitschy creative individual that should of won. But I keep forgetting that if you are the creative one then you won’t win. People want to see something that Macy’s or bluefly.com can sell. So why did Rami not win? I have no clue. His clothes were very female body friendly. Christian won because he is a little bitch with an ugly haircut. Sorry, I really did not like him. He came across as such an insecure small town hairdresser that had to fight ugly to cover up his new boy in town complex. He was not fierce.I’m happy that Chris and Rami are getting alot of work after the show.

Anyways, back to Season 5, I believe I do not like anybody. Blayne is a mega creep. First, I hate neon clothes and “urban” design. Hello Blayne, you’re from Yakima what and the hell do you know about hip-hop or urban design? I thought I could support anyone from Washington but I can’t. I really hate Blayne, I have a biological urge to pull his hair. I can’t explain it. What did he keep saying, “Babealiscious” or something. Eww. I find Seude obnoxious, that is if that is even his real name… I don’t think that Stella knows how to sew using a machine.  She should just go home and continue making clothes for Blondie, that’s more than any of us will do in a lifetime anyways. Jennifer is very boring. Emily dresses like a clown and looks like that one chick from Mad TV. Leanne is to insecure and gets on my last nerves. She is all sad because she is from Portland, OR and is trying to be NYC and feels sad. Well, as a lover of the Pacific Northwest, New York ain’t got nothin’ on us. We’re badass because we don’t give a shit. You’re still young Leanne, one day you’ll understand. Jerell seems like he is going to create some major drama later on. Jerry should be out with that creepy thrasher outfit. It wasn’t even sexy. It was dumpy serial killer. The other contestants compared it to American Physco but at least Mr. American Physco knew haute couture. Keith is too stuck up and thinks that he has a talent which I know I haven’t seen yet. Wesley is a dork and hopes that his dorky Marc Jacobs style will get him somewhere. I don’t hate them alll yet. Daniel seems like the only one with real talent. I look forward to seeing his creations. Joe seems like the nice guy that won’t start shit. I mean he has daughters, how cute is that? Kelli is adorable and seems to have some sense. I don’t know anything about Kenley. Did you notice that they totally avoided her this first epidsode? I don’t think we saw any of her portfolio. All I know is that she is cute and we have the same hair. Korto is a very styl’n woman but I doubt she’ll make it through. I see alot of shapeless caftans and tunics in the future. Not that I wouldn’t wear them, I just know what Michael Kors will say. And then finally there’s Terri. She’s my true neutral. I could like her or hate her, I don’t know yet.

Sadly, I will keep watching religiously with a class of wine every Wed. night. I love to hate the show and I love to love the show. I just want Tim Gunn and Chris March to be best friends and for rami to design my clothes. Oh and Santino designs Camel cigarette boxes. I don’t smoke but I still bought it because of him. I loved that childish insecure, talented nut case.

Berry Nice Makeup: Juicy, Fruity Inspired Hues July 14, 2008

Seabeck, WA: Where I spent the week-end

I had a nice weekend enjoying the warmth of a Pacific Northwest summer, gorgeous mountain views and salt water aromas. I had a nice picnic where I was harassed by some auburn bellied squirrel thing that for real tried to climb up my leg in hopes of a pinch of tortilla. Berry bushes are flowering and fruiting; hence, inspiring one of my favorite looks of all: berry lipstick. I spent most of my freshman year of college wearing a vintage, gray wool blazer, my hair in it’s natural color and long as heck in a tight bun, no eye makeup: not even mascara and I’d wear the deepest wine and berry lipsticks and glosses I could get my hands on. I’d mega highlight my facial features with glossy highlighting creams and gels. It was a very librarian meets Madonna stage for me and one of my favorites. I love Lipstick Queen Lipstick in Wine Sinner, a deep matte merlot that comes in wonderful deco packaging. I used to wear MAC Media, a satiny reddish-purple and Cyber, my closet goth blackish purple satin finish favorite. These colors are very pigmented and have a tendency to cake however. You must use a primer beforehand.  I used MAC Lip Pencil in Vino a violet purple. Burt’s Bees used to make a wonderful deep, almost black purple lipstick. Hmm, wonder why they don’t make that anymore? The closest thing they have now is Burt’s Bees Lip Shimmer in Merlot which is a shimmery wine with a minty tingle. Still not as good as the lipstick they used to make but still a great product. It’s a steal at $5. I wore so much of Chanel Rouge Hydrabase Lipstick in Vamp, a very dark plumish  berry. I feel like I am the reason why it still exsists, I really messed up the marketing data by buying so much of it. Plus, Uma Thurman in Pulp fiction has kept that shade alive. Benefit Silky-Finish Lipstick in Raisin’ Cane (yes a redneck name, but a great color) is a brownish wine bronze that adds color without being too purple. When I felt like I couldn’t find shades with enough pigment, I found myself drawn to brands like Iman, Fashion Fair, or Black Radiance. Iman Luxury Moisturing Lipstick in Black Brandy is heavenly. Recently, I have found L’Oreal Hip Lipstick in Extrovert, a deep brown-ish berry and Rimmel Moisture Rich Lipstick in Hype, a deep berry. I’ve been through 2 Hypes already. Nobody can beat the price and quality of that lipstick.  A red berry shade that is rich and glam is Guerlain KissKiss Lipstick in Cuivre Fusion which is a golden berry red that feels so smooth on the lips. I used to wear Kevyn Aucoin The Liquid Lipstick in Aquarouge which is a really deep red brown with lots of shimmer. It adds alot of dimension to the lips. I used to have to buy it at some local boutique but now Sephora carries it which is nice.

For those of you that don’t like the idea of having almost gothic lips, then glosses are stains are for you. Nars Lip Gloss in Boogie Nights, a metallic pink-ish raspberry is a great choice. The classic Clinique Almost Lipstick in Black Honey is a must for anyone in my opinion.  I find myself wearing it all the time, out and about and to my conservative job. Tarte 24/7 Lip Sheer in Friday and Lola Tinted Lip Balm in Voluptuous are great don’t even think about it berries because they are in a “ChapStick” container. Urban Decay Lip Envy Lipstain in Greedy is so easy to use. It is a deep berry that goes on sheer and looks great with gloss over it. L’Oreal Hip Lipgloss in Outstanding looks like a really dark shimmery berry but applies very light and fresh looking. I love cosmetics but I love it when my lips are stained by berries or wine.

Homeless In Seattle June 11, 2008

Well, I’ve been mega busy and really don’t know what I got myself into. I moved  and now have no place to live. OK, that might not be completely true, I am living in a hotel like in My Name Is Earl. I’m waiting to rent, they’re doing checks and stuff but until then I really don’t know what is going on. It is freak’n gorgeous here and it is very European in geography. I can’t compare the people to anyone because they are very Pacific Northwest-ish. They’re not trendsetters or at least not on purpose, they truly do not care. Coffee is very important but nothing, I repeat nothing beats Bongo Java of Nashville, TN. If I was to bring that stuff out here, I’d get everybody hooked. The coffee here is bitter and acidic; however, strong. It’s the kind of coffee that needs to be used with milk and mixed with stuff. The food is OK but is no Portland cuisine out here. Or at least I haven’t found it yet. I can’t wait to go mushroom hunting and I wished I packed some socks. It’s is abnormally cold out here which I think is a thousand times better than the 90 something heat I just left. I love the colors and flowers here and farmer’s markets. So far I’m pretty happy with the move and can’t believe that I did it. I drove through the country which is so totally bare. I can’t believe people in this country complain about overpopulation an immigrants, they have obviously not drove through 2000 miles of complete nothingness. This truly is a beautiful country and I didn’t realize it because I have been in the Southeast my whole life. I’ll post pics later.

Today I have nothing to do so I am going to go buy plaid flannel and hoodies because that is the only thing that makes sense here. Not all of the dresses and silk shirts and jeans that I packed. And can you wear coral lipstick out here?

Move On Lil’ Doggies May 29, 2008

So, my husband and I are moving to Washington next week. It’s going to take 36 hours of hard driving to get there. I don’t know where I am going to live and I don’t have a job yet. It still hasn’t really hit me yet, I just know that I am putting my stuff into boxes and researching the heck out of areas to live in the Seattle area. I’ve got to get into a pioneer mindset and just go for it. I hope I’ll like the place. If anyone has any suggestions of places to move to please let me know. I’m ghetto and from the South so I’m pretty sure I can take anything.  And I’ve got to move like a hundred bottles of perfume and I have no idea how to do this without a major blowout. Please comment on this.

I know I can make this trip if a bunch of people did it in a covered wagon before me.

These Frenchies are courtesy of Tahoma French bulldogs, the most beautiful babies on the world wide web. Hopefully, they will be my doggie neighbors.

Rawhide.

Flannel and Grunge: The Move May 15, 2008

Well, I’m doing the craziest thing ever, well since my wedding. We’ve decided to leave Tennessee and move to Seattle. We’ve been planning this, but we thought that we would wait until we both got jobs, etc. But, we’ve decided that we are wusses and we’re going to grow a couple of pairs and do what we want to really do.

I never do anything unplanned and frankly, I am scared of everything. So this is a big deal. Everything is almost packed up. I have two more weeks left at my current job placement and then we are out of here. I don’t know what I’ll miss in Nashville. My family is here so I’ll miss them. I’ll miss Mexican restaurants, humid summers and dirty South rap. I won’t miss the racism or ignorance that I experience daily. I won’t miss the horrible food culture and how I can’t get anything niche.

I’m ready for a change of scenery and something totally new. So, I’m driving across this country in a lil’ Scion for like 36 hours or something. It’ll be the road trip of a lifetime.  I’ll listen to grunge and wear a red flannel shirt and use Manic Panic Hair Dye in Plum Passion and eat chanterelles and drink espresso and be totally spoiled rotten. I’ll shoot up heroin in a van down by the ferries while seagulls attack my head. Sike, I won’t do that. Actually, I won’t do anything like that except get a little house by the water and a French bulldog named Stuckey, a cream colored beauty. I might wear flannel and I know I’ll eat wild mushrooms and continue to drink coffee.

I’m excited but I am scared shitless.