Beachy Babes: The Look of Ursula Andress, Honey Ryder July 9, 2008

We’ve had a few pretty warm days here and it had me thinking of beachy fragrances and bronzers again. I was thinking of these things before in Tennessee when it was like 90 degrees, but when we moved here it was like 50. So today I’m wearing bronzer, gold lipstick and heavy eyeliner to hold onto summer even though all the hot fall makeup collections are out and about. I was looking at surf rock record art and had this desire to cut my hair shorter which I always regret later on. I decided to think more of Honey Ryder in Dr. No to make me appreciate my long hair. Typically, not a Bond fan because he is a bit of a chauvinist, but I’ve always loved the chicks in the flicks. You can’t go wrong with the look of a Bond Girl.  So this is what I would use to recreate the look.

First, I could never be as tan as Ursula without getting mega freckley (how did a Swede get so dark anyways?). use a tinted moisturizer such as Lancome Bienfait Multi-Vital Teinte. Tinted moisturizers are great because you can cheat and buy a shade darker to add color without looking weird. I’d bronze with Guerlain Light Sheer Bronzing Powder in Brunette. Seriously, if you have not used this product you are missing out. It is amazingly natural and anyone can wear it. Brush it on with Sephora Bronzing Brush which is another must if you do not own one. I use mine daily. Fill in eyebrows with Lancome Le Crayon Poudre in Natural Blonde and set with Amazing Cosmetics Brow Gel. Since you’ll be frolicking on the beach with this look, use an eyeshadow base such as Lancome Aquatique Waterproof Eyeshadow Base. This is a great product. Remember to close the lid tightly after each use so that it doesn’t dry out. I’ve had one of these get all grotty before because of my hectic mornings and not paying attention. Use L’Oreal Hip Eyeshadow Duo in Dynamic. Dust the lighter shade from all over the lid. Apply the darker shade in the crease and blend with a fluffy brush. Use MAC Eyeshadow in Bisque under the brow. Line top and bottom of eyes with black eyeliner like Dior Waterproof Crayon in Trinidad Black and smudge MAC Eyeshadow in Typographic around the lashline. Coat lashes with lots and lots of Maybelline Full and Soft Waterproof Mascara in Very Black. Pat Nars The Multiple in Palm Beach onto cheeks. All you need for lips is CARGO Plant Love Botanical Lipstick in Mariska (named for my favorite Law and Order actress and lovely daughter of Jayne Mansfield), a light neutral taupe. Plus, the packaging for the lipstick is so appropriate for the era of Ursula Andress. I’d wear Estee Lauder Bronze Goddess as a fragrance. A look like this is so timelessly sexy despite if your name is Ursula or not.

Dior Dandy Collection Welcomes The Recession July 8, 2008

Dior has launched their fall collection known merely as “Dandy” and I am in love for many reasons. It’s part Faye Dunaway in Bonnie and Clyde and part bad ass bronzed eyed gangsta. It’s “Hey, we’re in a freak’n recession, now lets have fun and emulate everything 1930’s that the economically fragile 1970’s embraced!” Boy, did they love Bonnie and Clyde in the 70s.  Since last year I have felt like I have been living in the 70s because of the recession, well before then, but I got out of college long enough to realize it.  The Green trends are our economy’s way of feeling comfortable with living cheap and reusing things and taking pride in cooking and growing our own produce. Cosmetics manufactures have been playing up “natural” and “bare” looks again, those neutrals that Farrah Faucet sported. Wild Western inspired Bohemian looks keep showing up even though I thought it was out ages ago. Fashions have became very retro Bonnie Parker. Music is getting more folksier or disco-ier. I’m glad that everyone is trying to have fun being poor. I know that I am. Living cheap makes me feel good. Yeah, I still want Dior, I’ll get it if I want it, I’ll just cook a pot roast or something and eat it all week. But, I find myself wanting less and less material things…

Anyways, to the collection. Other than just being beautiful because it reminds me of all chaos induced by a thin, blonde female gangster, the products are actually nice. There’s a Cuir Leather Impression Eyeshadow based on the popular “croc” pattern of their leathers.  There’s Copper Diamond DiorSkin Shimmer Star Pressed Powder, new formulas of 2-Colour eyeshadow featured in Bronzy Look and Silver Look, 5-Colour Eyeshadow in Iridescent Leather and Earth Tones, beautiful blush in Pink Copper, Rouge Dior Lipstick in Fiction Brown and Western Beige, Creme de Gloss in Creamy Burgundy and Delicious Plum, Addict Ultra-Gloss Reflect in Lace Beige and Lurex Plum, Waterproof Crayon Eyeliner in Iridescent Khaki, and Rouge Contour Lip Liner in Mysterious Plum and Mythical Brown. Dior is saying, ” Dandy is more than a look; it’s a state of mind, inspired by the chic, independent spirit of the 1930s. Unexpectedly glamorous in contrasts of rich feminine plums, berries and the ‘masculine’ chic of warm, deep beige shades.” Well, that indepence and state of mind is robbing banks and shooting people up and hiding out from the law with your possiblely bisexual outlaw boyfriend just because being poor and down and out pisses you off. Still, it manages to be beautiful despite the materialistic angst associated with the ‘masculine’ chic just because Faye Dunaway was/is a babe and those fashions in Bonnie and Clyde were just too damn awesome and Warren Beatty was a hunk. I’m sold. Now I just have to find a bank to rob to afford this collection…

The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert May 7, 2008

Typically I watch films that I analyze as being gay (Double Dragon, Gentlemen Prefer Blondes). This one is outright so. It’s entertaining, campy, feel-good, etc. But, I don’t love it; I feel a lot is lacking. There are some beautiful shots of the Outback. It has enough fantasy to keep me occupied. I mean how can one change all their makeup that quickly? The costumes are quirky and bright. My complaint is that the characters aren’t established enough. Mitzi (Hugo Weaving, Lord of the Rings, Matrix movies) poses the Rudolph Valentino question of is he or isn’t he? Why does he care if his 8 year old son knows if he is gay or whatever? Felicia (Guy Pearce) is an obnoxious queen that fits every unwanted stereotype of gayness: being molested as a child, drug use. Bernadette (Terence Stamp) is a bitch that really does not want to be associated with the gay community but isn’t accepted by anyone else. Mitzi’s wife is out there and really used to complicate the story line; to provide Mitzi with the son shocker. Bob is a predictable cutie. The music is great. I haven’t heard this much ABBA in a while.

I like the presentation of the rural Australians because they are so similar to rural Americans, replace kangaroo with deer and BAM! This film tries to say a lot about environment. Sexual “deviants” migrate to the city and the “normal” people stay in the rural areas. We find all of the flamboyant Boy George drag queens at Trumpet’s funeral in the city covered in cake makeup and silver metallic lipstick, dressed to impress even in time of mourning.  We find the hatred to outsiders in the rural Outback by the “normal” folk. For one night an Aboriginal group and the main characters spend a night dancing, sharing a common bond as outsiders in the outskirts of society. Bob lives in a tiny town with his Southeast Asian wife. Bob is a gentleman, longing for a traditional relationship. He stayed with her just because the papers said she was his wife despite the fact that his wife is hypersexual, promiscuous, and a sexual deviant (umm, the age-old ping-pong balls on the bar gag). She wanted to be in Sydney but got stuck living with Bob in the middle of nowhere. In the end, Mitzi and Felicia go back to the city, where they are wanted and belong. Their lifestyle is too nontraditional, we are given the impression that Mitzi chooses to be gay or at least live a gay lifestyle. Bernadette, despite her strange gender situation, chooses to stay with Bob in the country to live a happy, “normal”, rural life. She feels that she has encountered too many flakes in the city and needs to, can only find real life with Bob, a genuine gentleman from the country. The entire journey she is annoyed by her gay (or at least we think Mitzi is gay) travel partners. She wants to disconnect herself from that community, so she stays in the country. All three of the travelers climb the mountain, Felicia’s dream, only to be disappointed and want to go back to their urban environment again.

I understand why this film is so popular. It feels good to watch; there’s enough drama but not enough to make you feel down. It’s empowering: you can have your cake (be gay/glamorous party lifestyle) and eat it too (have a family). This movie appeals to a straight audience because it isn’t too sexual and it doesn’t get into a lot of deep internal gay conflict. It appeals to a gay audience because it is fun and well maybe for the same reasons that straight people may like it: you don’t have to think about it. In conclusion, if you haven’t seen it you should but take along a few cosmos for the ride on pink Priscilla.